TALK ABOUT HYPOCRISY

I asked Rabbi Dashiff today why it is that parents find it acceptable to prohibit their children from doing certain things that they themselves cannot restrain from?

For instance, when I was much younger television was absolutely prohibited. Being that we weren’t too religious back then, I realize that it came from an educational, ‘proper parenting’ standpoint, as opposed to a Torah-based standard.

He provided me with not just an answer, but also more food for thought. His maxim is “INTEGRITY,” and in this case he used it to explain the following. Every single human being is always PROCESSING. Processing in the sense that he is trying to reach his own, individualized integrity. Since each person’s integrity is entirely different from the next, it is imperative that we try to keep that in mind when judging others. When I perform an action that is prohibited, I naturally give myself a million excuses, reasons for why I need to be doing precisely this particular deed.

Torah commands us to “Love your fellow as YOURSELF.” How is it possible to love another as yourself? You live with yourself 24/7, yet you are expected to love another as you love yourself, even a complete stranger? Torah says yes. And Rabbi Hillel even told an atheist that the entire Torah is merely commentary on this single commandment. Well, commentators explain that in order to love another just as you love yourself, you must grant him the million excuses that you give yourself. Or at least bear in mind that just as you would give yourself reasons, be sure that he has his own. As strong as your Yetzer Harah is in particular areas, his might be overpowering in another.

Rabbi Dashiff brought to my attention that we are all “processing.” We are all striving to be the best we can be, while at the same time we are trying to ration our observances so that we don’t buckle under the overwhelming intensity. Chassidim take on resolutions all the time. It would be unwise to take on every possible mitzvah and observation all at once; it would prove to be too much, overwhelmingly unbearable and disastrous.

Rather, we each have our own methods with which we engage in our “processing” toward our uniquely defined “integrity.”

Looking back, I may not have appreciated, then, the way my parents went about their processing when it came to my upbringing. But now… Man, they must have really been guided by some Higher Source. I mean, look at me. Here I am, in seminary, in ISRAEL…

I’m blown away.