Walking a very thin line...
Sometimes we think we are doing something right, when it is really very wrong.
Sometimes we fear that we are doing something wrong, when it really is very right.
If only all things in life were so clear cut...
There is a very thin line. There's no such thing as grey. At all. Rather, it is called a thin line. Why? Because the "grey area" leaves room for "greyness", whereas a "thin line" is a hair's breadth, and can lead one from the white zone into the black zone in virtually no time at all.
There IS black and white. The problem is that we are human. And since we are created as limited creatures, we cannot always distinguish the difference between what is black and what is white. Or we would rather not...
For example -
A religious Jewish girl knows that speaking with the opposite gender is a big "No No". So when it is on the protocol in the very supported world of shluchot (Jewish Outreach Program), the girl may very well feel confused. Why, all of the sudden is it not only OK to talk to guys, but even encouraged?
There are obvious borderlines - Do not go to parties. Do not get backed into a corner. Do not agree to meet him to discuss his "issues with Judaism". Do not give him your cell phone number (unless he's helping with some event obviously...).
But ordinarilly - No, I would not be all jolly, "Hey, what's up, Mike? Yeah? How's your semester going? And the (Jewish) fraternity? Cool. Yeah, glad you came tonight. Have fun!"
But all of the sudden - its SHLUCHOT. This is how we get them to drop everything they're doing and run to Chabad. Chabad is fun, cool, exciting, and easy! So why not?
I just need to keep in mind why I am here and what I am representing at all times. I never knew it would be this "involved", for lack of a better way to put it.
Good luck to you all in whatever outreach you are able to do. The smallest act can change a person's life for the better. For the best, see Chabad! :)
Sometimes we fear that we are doing something wrong, when it really is very right.
If only all things in life were so clear cut...
There is a very thin line. There's no such thing as grey. At all. Rather, it is called a thin line. Why? Because the "grey area" leaves room for "greyness", whereas a "thin line" is a hair's breadth, and can lead one from the white zone into the black zone in virtually no time at all.
There IS black and white. The problem is that we are human. And since we are created as limited creatures, we cannot always distinguish the difference between what is black and what is white. Or we would rather not...
For example -
A religious Jewish girl knows that speaking with the opposite gender is a big "No No". So when it is on the protocol in the very supported world of shluchot (Jewish Outreach Program), the girl may very well feel confused. Why, all of the sudden is it not only OK to talk to guys, but even encouraged?
There are obvious borderlines - Do not go to parties. Do not get backed into a corner. Do not agree to meet him to discuss his "issues with Judaism". Do not give him your cell phone number (unless he's helping with some event obviously...).
But ordinarilly - No, I would not be all jolly, "Hey, what's up, Mike? Yeah? How's your semester going? And the (Jewish) fraternity? Cool. Yeah, glad you came tonight. Have fun!"
But all of the sudden - its SHLUCHOT. This is how we get them to drop everything they're doing and run to Chabad. Chabad is fun, cool, exciting, and easy! So why not?
I just need to keep in mind why I am here and what I am representing at all times. I never knew it would be this "involved", for lack of a better way to put it.
Good luck to you all in whatever outreach you are able to do. The smallest act can change a person's life for the better. For the best, see Chabad! :)
posted by yoniQua at 7:22 PM
11 Comments:
hii mom!
The question is: is it about ME or is it about the SHLICHUT (making the world a better place even at the expense of ME's discomfort). The problem is when we use the shlichut as a crutch for the limping ME to lean on, then, not only are we hurting ourselves but also all the people we come in contact with in the name of “shlichut.”
The great part of having a beard on Shlichus is that it gauruntees that none of the girls are going to make a move on you, lol.
I don't agree that it's encouraged to talk to guys on Shlichus. While it may be the inevitable, it's certainly not called for. You must remember and be very prudent to keep a "professional" distance.
The Rebbe was quite clear that we have to encourage our own genders, certainly while we're single, and particularly for girls. If the Shliach wants you to be involved extensively with the men, speak to him and tell him that it's not comfortable {or right} for a Chassidish girl. He should be understanding, but if he isn't...
Yoniqua . It's so interesting that you posted this , cuz of the type of shlichus I am on now (College campus) It would be downright rude not to interact with the guys. On the other hand you have to be smart about it. Be friendly but not TOO friendly. or else they will get the wrong idea. It hasnt been a problom Because as soon as I introduce myself as a Chabad RA of the girls dorm, most of them already understand I am religious. and then there are those guys who make believe to be clueless. (they have a kippah on their head) and put out their hand for me to shake. I have no problom saying sorry dude I'm religious I DON'T TOUCH GUYS, Sometime can be embarressing when they really are clueless. lol anyways thats shlichus. I love it cuz it's so challenging and gives me a chance to grow so much. anyways where did you end up Yoniqua and hows it goin ? MISS U.
I bet most of those guys with kippas on their head aren't just pretending to be clueless. A lot of the modern orthodox have never heard of shomer negia.
Is there a guy-equivalent for what you do? Someone who can ask them how their semester is going? (Sorry I'm being clueless. There wasn't a Chabad group on or near my campus.) Or is the rabbi the one who does outreach for the guys?
I want to make something VERY clear.
I only posted this in order to show the IRONY. Not to put down what I am doing, or what is going on here at all. It is 100% right and 100% my thing. I love it and plan to give my job my all!
The irony is that as we are maturing, kids are told to keep to their own gender and not to mingle with the opposite sex. Now, being that I have (hopefully) matured some, I am being entrusted with this amazing job of bringing Jewish girls and guys together. It is a very rewarding position - program director, and I intend to do the best I can!
The Rabbi here is amazing. You should see him with the students. They all adore him. I was making phonecalls, and when I say that I'm calling on his behalf, they all get excited, "Oh?!" So I know that he is doing a great job here.
Have no fear - s'all good!
anon - safe flight zahava... very funny. dont crush the trix... mwa~
jake - thats exactly right. thank you. and i just hope i will be able to walk proudly on two feet..
and its true what u say about hurting people we come in contact with in the name of shlichut, because it would be giving them the wrong idea. very true.
nemo - very funny. takes a trained eye, i must admit!
it is encouraged to be social, but obviously not to be overlly social with the opposite gender. my problem is that i sometimes have to stop myself from being "prude" because I know that I have to only be nice...still proffessional, friendly, and kind..its just patience. and the knowledge that these are all yidden...
the rabbi definitely is doing a terrific job here, and he knows exactly where to draw the line for us. hes got it. cool guy, too.
yehudiya - miss you so much!!! i didnt know that ur shluchos was on campus! call me!!! wow.. good luck to you, beautiful. ull have them hitting on you.. oh boy... but yah gluck!
yah the whole hands shaking thing. very different. in israel i decided that i dont need to shake anyones hand anymore. they can just be mature about it and accept it! no more exceptions..theyll respect you for it. full stop.
but now... i agree with you. very different. remember - these are kids. love you - good luck! and good on ya, girl!
"The smallest act can change a person's life for the better."
The smallest act can also destroy a persons life. YOUR life. Forever. In our society where these lines are blurred many a wrong move on the part of bochur/girl have had tremendous implications. I can elaborate if i need to.
yossi - are u referring to a guy/girl on shluchos possibly doing something inappropriate, G-d forbid?
Yes, you may elaborate - but for the sake of the students I'm working with, I may delete some things soon. I don't want them to get the wrong idea...
...my struggles pertain more to teaching 8 year old boys to keep their hands off :-)
ohhhh id rather be in ur place :-)
you tell those boys - sergeant yoniqua said to get your hands off me!
you know, in camp, i had two campers who would grab their counselors' chests. One was expelled bc he was too delayed (retarded) to function in our camp. The other did it only after watching the first kid get away with it so many times. i will one day post about awareness of problems... the second child has severe ADHD and after he tried it the first time, he got such a talking to... he almost peed in his pants. he will never do that again.
but ya i know what thats like.. ud think that these lil 8 yr olds have a more immature mind than 15 yr olds wanting to get their paws on girls' chests, but really its the older guys who have the maturity and control issues of the 8 yr old...
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