REPRESENT
I recently encountered an unfortunate situation with a "representative of Rabbi Schneerson."
I put it that way because if we all kept in mind who we represent and what we represent, we will never do anything to hurt another.
Unfortunately I hurt another Jew.
Without even meaning to.
I would like to share this story because I would like to prevent any future miscommunications between people, whether friends, family, or as in this case, a potential business engagement.
The story goes as follows:
I was looking for a job in assisting Chabad Emissaries in any Jewish community I find suitable. In my job search, I spoke with numerous such emissaries. I encountered very many different types of people doing similar work, yet all in different places around the globe. There are social people who are good on the phone, professional-type people who write beautiful emails, and there are those who are not very adept in either area. If I became interested in a certain offer, I would call references, etc., to find out more about the community, the way they run their institution, their style of communication, etc.
(My father has taught me well about communication - successful (bhkybppp-can u guess what that is?) businessman that he is. Communication, connections, and contacts are most important in the business world. Other components are also very necessary, but this is what it comes down to in the end.)
A character flaw of mine - which my father has just so kindly pointed out when I called him all hysterical in lieu of this unfortunate event - is that I tend to over-extend myself in my feelings toward any single individual, idea, or cause, making the other party feel as if I am more interested than I actually am. I didn't know that about myself, don't even know if it is 100% true, but he's my dad... :)
So, one such emissary decided... or rather assumed, that I had committed to work for him.
I remember no such verbal agreement, nor do I have anything documented in emails to support that. I repeat - I never felt that I had agreed to work for him. He must have felt that due to the length of time I spent on the phone with him that I was indeed most interested in finalizing. He knew I was a head counselor this summer and decided not to contact me until I sent out emails to all of my job contacts describing the state I was in - that I was no longer looking for a job with the same partner due to the fact that she was going to be working from home - since her father is unfortunately not as healthy as he used to be (I am leaving out details - may Hashem grant him and all of us a long, healthy life). Yet, he called me at least a week later.I received many replies - regretful replies - but ones of good luck (as I had wished them, as well).
This one such rabbi called me a week later, on a blocked number I might add (did he think I wouldn't pick up?), and very firmly made it clear to me that he had been expecting me and how dare I cancel on him. He gave me 48 hours to "seriously think about it" and call him back "with the good news". I hung up very disturbed, broken, and to tell you the truth - sorry. I could not believe that I had pained another Jew. He was seriously in dire straits, put in the sudden position of looking for another pair of girls only weeks before the school year. I obviously would not accept the job, but I did feel like I wanted to redo the past few months - at least to have sent him an email when I had decided NOT to commit. I DID let him know as soon as I knew that my friend would not be joining me, but that is the past. During the week that I sent the email until he called me, I had found another job, and was almost to the point of finalizing. I made sure to tell the people at job that I had accepted that I would need an official contract to avoid any further misunderstandings.
I hope I never again hurt another person, cause them any ache or frustration... Not easy, but I definitely will try. I will do my best to be clear and not lead people on. I've heard of similar stories, but never contemplated the possibility that something similar might happen to me.
Another lesson I have learned is - that as much as I try to be forgiving, unassuming, non-judgmental, and all - I need to trust people who know me. I won't elaborate too much, but when more than one person tells me not to do go through with something, I should trust them. And then not go through with it - literally - put it into writing and press "send"!!
I am sure he does wonderful work and I wished him the best of luck.
I just hope that not another incident will come back to haunt me. Man, what a week.
I put it that way because if we all kept in mind who we represent and what we represent, we will never do anything to hurt another.
Unfortunately I hurt another Jew.
Without even meaning to.
I would like to share this story because I would like to prevent any future miscommunications between people, whether friends, family, or as in this case, a potential business engagement.
The story goes as follows:
I was looking for a job in assisting Chabad Emissaries in any Jewish community I find suitable. In my job search, I spoke with numerous such emissaries. I encountered very many different types of people doing similar work, yet all in different places around the globe. There are social people who are good on the phone, professional-type people who write beautiful emails, and there are those who are not very adept in either area. If I became interested in a certain offer, I would call references, etc., to find out more about the community, the way they run their institution, their style of communication, etc.
(My father has taught me well about communication - successful (bhkybppp-can u guess what that is?) businessman that he is. Communication, connections, and contacts are most important in the business world. Other components are also very necessary, but this is what it comes down to in the end.)
A character flaw of mine - which my father has just so kindly pointed out when I called him all hysterical in lieu of this unfortunate event - is that I tend to over-extend myself in my feelings toward any single individual, idea, or cause, making the other party feel as if I am more interested than I actually am. I didn't know that about myself, don't even know if it is 100% true, but he's my dad... :)
So, one such emissary decided... or rather assumed, that I had committed to work for him.
I remember no such verbal agreement, nor do I have anything documented in emails to support that. I repeat - I never felt that I had agreed to work for him. He must have felt that due to the length of time I spent on the phone with him that I was indeed most interested in finalizing. He knew I was a head counselor this summer and decided not to contact me until I sent out emails to all of my job contacts describing the state I was in - that I was no longer looking for a job with the same partner due to the fact that she was going to be working from home - since her father is unfortunately not as healthy as he used to be (I am leaving out details - may Hashem grant him and all of us a long, healthy life). Yet, he called me at least a week later.I received many replies - regretful replies - but ones of good luck (as I had wished them, as well).
This one such rabbi called me a week later, on a blocked number I might add (did he think I wouldn't pick up?), and very firmly made it clear to me that he had been expecting me and how dare I cancel on him. He gave me 48 hours to "seriously think about it" and call him back "with the good news". I hung up very disturbed, broken, and to tell you the truth - sorry. I could not believe that I had pained another Jew. He was seriously in dire straits, put in the sudden position of looking for another pair of girls only weeks before the school year. I obviously would not accept the job, but I did feel like I wanted to redo the past few months - at least to have sent him an email when I had decided NOT to commit. I DID let him know as soon as I knew that my friend would not be joining me, but that is the past. During the week that I sent the email until he called me, I had found another job, and was almost to the point of finalizing. I made sure to tell the people at job that I had accepted that I would need an official contract to avoid any further misunderstandings.
I hope I never again hurt another person, cause them any ache or frustration... Not easy, but I definitely will try. I will do my best to be clear and not lead people on. I've heard of similar stories, but never contemplated the possibility that something similar might happen to me.
Another lesson I have learned is - that as much as I try to be forgiving, unassuming, non-judgmental, and all - I need to trust people who know me. I won't elaborate too much, but when more than one person tells me not to do go through with something, I should trust them. And then not go through with it - literally - put it into writing and press "send"!!
I am sure he does wonderful work and I wished him the best of luck.
I just hope that not another incident will come back to haunt me. Man, what a week.
posted by yoniQua at 6:49 PM
5 Comments:
wow...
'(bhkybppp-can u guess what that is?)
'
gimme a try-
Boruch Hashem, Kein YirBu, Pe Pe Pe. (were u born in Aussie land or what????!)
oh, yeh-and what a sorry encounter! boy we really haf ta be so careful, it's freaky
you got it!!!
Well, as you may have figured out, I have severe committal issues, and you are very lucky to have managed to 'illicit' a promise... and then have me actually deliver!
This story actually has two sides to it, yours and the 'emissaries'. When running anything from programs to organizations to anything else, you can’t go and attempt to 'force' someone to take a job in the fashion he did isn’t right, to make someone feel guilty, that’s not the Lubavitch way. (Speak to any Jew that doesn’t learn Chassidus...) and you would understand (think Mussar).
In any case don’t beat yourself up to much, your doing a wonderfull job and New City is lucky to have you!
thanks
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