FUTURE, PAST, OR PRESENT?
I've always lived for the moment. I hate consequences. It's worked well, actually. Live for the moment, don't get caught doing the things you shouldn't be doing in the first place, and it's all good. Until you come to seminary. Until they make you think. And suddenly this thinking becomes so much of your daily struggle that everything else is part of your double-tasking!
I'm talking about getting into bed and not felling asleep till the streams of sunlight begin pouring in through the curtains overhead. These thoughts begin to plague your mind when you are least in the mood. We learn from the Tanya that we control our thoughts. The best way to deal with all of it would be to set a time to properly think about all necessary thoughts that need to be sorted out. But when all you want to do is organize your thoughts, bring them to some sort of conclusion, you can do nothing else but think.
I've been plagued just so. And I've had enough. I'm supposed to be this easygoing, outgoing, fun, crazy, spontaneous person. And what has all of this turned me into? An intense, introverted, thought-provoked mind. Where is the old me? Why am I all worry and plans?
On the verge of hysteria, I hereby state my medium. The mind is vast and great. The mind entertains and challenges. The mind is good. The point of no-return is when one permits himself to be led BY his mind and therefore has no control over it.
Well not anymore. I have made up my mind. I have figured it out. And will continue to figure it all out daily. After all, each day is a gift, something to be cherished and sanctified. Thank G-d.
But no longer will I speculate. I will no longer plan my life in the way that anything that goes "off" (all is meant to be, I know, I know) will get to me. I am in control of me. That includes the mind. And the mind will be at peace.
I am back to the happy me. To the lively, spontaneous, live-for-the-moment me. I will live each moment at its time, each hour, each day, week, month, and year. I will not think too much beyond that, aside from fantasizing of course, for fear of disappointment. And forget about the past, that's over and done with - we are all capable of moving on. G-d has plenty in store for us all. Me inlcuded. Why should I worry? I have trust that He knows what He's doing... HE'S G-D! I will let Him do as He chooses.
G-d, go ahead, while I sieze each moment.
I'm talking about getting into bed and not felling asleep till the streams of sunlight begin pouring in through the curtains overhead. These thoughts begin to plague your mind when you are least in the mood. We learn from the Tanya that we control our thoughts. The best way to deal with all of it would be to set a time to properly think about all necessary thoughts that need to be sorted out. But when all you want to do is organize your thoughts, bring them to some sort of conclusion, you can do nothing else but think.
I've been plagued just so. And I've had enough. I'm supposed to be this easygoing, outgoing, fun, crazy, spontaneous person. And what has all of this turned me into? An intense, introverted, thought-provoked mind. Where is the old me? Why am I all worry and plans?
On the verge of hysteria, I hereby state my medium. The mind is vast and great. The mind entertains and challenges. The mind is good. The point of no-return is when one permits himself to be led BY his mind and therefore has no control over it.
Well not anymore. I have made up my mind. I have figured it out. And will continue to figure it all out daily. After all, each day is a gift, something to be cherished and sanctified. Thank G-d.
But no longer will I speculate. I will no longer plan my life in the way that anything that goes "off" (all is meant to be, I know, I know) will get to me. I am in control of me. That includes the mind. And the mind will be at peace.
I am back to the happy me. To the lively, spontaneous, live-for-the-moment me. I will live each moment at its time, each hour, each day, week, month, and year. I will not think too much beyond that, aside from fantasizing of course, for fear of disappointment. And forget about the past, that's over and done with - we are all capable of moving on. G-d has plenty in store for us all. Me inlcuded. Why should I worry? I have trust that He knows what He's doing... HE'S G-D! I will let Him do as He chooses.
G-d, go ahead, while I sieze each moment.
posted by yoniQua at 12:09 PM
7 Comments:
That's no excuse not to plan!
Live for the moment. But don't forget you got to make a Kaily (a vessel) for all the good to come from G-D, you can't just leave it for G-D. He may not
"G-d has plenty in store for us all. Me included. Why should I worry?" WELL if you don't make a vessel you better worry...
"HE'S G-D! I will let Him do as He chooses." WELL he may choose G-D forbid the opposite of good...
My point is. You can live for the moment like most of us do... Just do the rite thing. Not something your going to regret... And while your at it Make that vessel. G-D will fill it with only good!!!
if u live for the moment
and dont tihnk of consequenses
your gona get into ALOT of trouble
especially with your tendencies yoniqua, u gotta think forward
never ever live in the moment
ull only live to regret it
nemo - i have planned.
mmf - ive made my "vessels" for G-d to choose which venue through which to grant me success. Therefore, I do not worry. He runs the world, so how could it go "wrong"? Now, I wait. With baited breath, might I add.
thanks for the encouragement...
anon/mo? - ahem! what tendencies?
and ya thanks - i will look only forward. ive dealt with and left behind the past so the future is my light... how bout u? oh, and the thing with consequences, (clear throat and in hushed undertone) always have a good story in the front pocket, back pocket, side pocket...
yoniQua - the vessel is a ongoing struggle. It's not something that you make once & your don for the rest of your life. you got to keep building or destruction come with out you noticing.
Maybe this will help you understand it better - The world is compared to a infinite later. it doesn't matter where your holding on the later (because its infinite). All that matters is that your going upwards (doing the rite thing etc.) cuz you can't stay in the same place, ether your going up or your going down. and going down destructs the vessel... By doing the rite thing you will ultimately be very happy & feel good about your selff...
P.S. I love living for the moment. I just try to do the rite thing in that moment. Enjoy!
mmf - thanks.
now about that ladder, it definitely is one im familiar with. especially now that this yr has given us the opportunity to either climb up or back down. Thank G-d, though there were some downs, the rung-by-rung climb has been great and I hope we will all retain our strength and passion for who we are and how far weve come.
I may have sounded a bit rebellious, but that is not how I am choosing to live my life. I am making good decisions and hoping it will all work out, thats all. (and the times ive slipped, even recently, well, its tough, im working on it. a chossid always is.)
You should blog - start one.
""I'm working on it" Well that's the bottom line. "
People constantly reassure themselves that it's enough to be "working on it". They fall back on the fact that they are putting in minimal effort to improve. They justify every wrong that they do in their life with the fact that they mean well.
It's just not so. "Working on it" is an excuse to tell the angels after 120. "Doing it" is what's necessary. Despite good intentions, this world is a world of action. There is no justification for not being perfect, just excuses. We're not excepted because we wanted to be good but there was to much wrong, the only way off is if we put the real effort to try.
Chabad doesn't emphasise good intentions and doing your best. It empasises just doing what has to get done because Hashem wants that.
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