LEAVING ON A JET PLANE... DON'T KNOW WHEN I'LL BE BACK AGAIN...
Ok, so the year in Israel is over. I'll be back. I'm in a huge state of denial. Denial that I'm leaving at all - I just started to pack now, almost midnight, and I'm leaving first thing in the morning. Well, that's when my plane takes off... With or without me.
There I stood. In the early afternoon heat. Sun beating down on my head and back, the scalding sand giving way to the coolness of the waves. I stand still, the water rising to just over my knees, and close my eyes tightly. This is exactly how I feel. While standing here amongst the many waves crashing against my calves, wetting my hiked-up skirt, and finally washing up the bank of the beach, I feel the symbolism of the moment. The waves have crashed against me countless of times. I've stood my ground, held up my guard, and not given in to the intensity of the pressure. Again and again I am willed to lose my grip, let go of myself, and be washed away.
I will not permit that to happen. I am even stronger today. With each wave washing toward the shore in my direction, my calves become more and more accustomed to supporting my weight and fighting the urge to be knocked over by the powerful force.
I can take it. I will not be dragged down, away from my ever increasing strength and ambition. Dreams and goals keep me going, keep me fighting the opposing forces.
This year has given me just what I need. The vast knowledge and the burning pride that keeps the flame of my soul ever kindled. I am not only a 'yehudi', not only a 'dati', but a 'chabadnekit'! I am a frum, Lubavitch Jew, fighting to keep my spark lit, while lighting the wicks of other lacking souls. May G-d give me and all of us the continued strength to utilize the match that the Rebbe has handed us, to light one soul after another, never losing our own brightness.
(this is unedited as I must go pack.)
Eretz HaKodesh, I will miss you and I WILL BE BACK if I must ever leave. And Medinat Haaretz can go "l'kol haruchot". At the moment, even if just at THIS moment, I would rather be in a corrupt place like America, where the standards are low, than in Israel, where the standards are high and the corruption just as significantly present.
MASHIACH NOW!!! SO WE CAN ALL BE HERE IN PEACE AND WITH ONLY G-DLINESS ALREADY! NOW! NOW! NOW!
There I stood. In the early afternoon heat. Sun beating down on my head and back, the scalding sand giving way to the coolness of the waves. I stand still, the water rising to just over my knees, and close my eyes tightly. This is exactly how I feel. While standing here amongst the many waves crashing against my calves, wetting my hiked-up skirt, and finally washing up the bank of the beach, I feel the symbolism of the moment. The waves have crashed against me countless of times. I've stood my ground, held up my guard, and not given in to the intensity of the pressure. Again and again I am willed to lose my grip, let go of myself, and be washed away.
I will not permit that to happen. I am even stronger today. With each wave washing toward the shore in my direction, my calves become more and more accustomed to supporting my weight and fighting the urge to be knocked over by the powerful force.
I can take it. I will not be dragged down, away from my ever increasing strength and ambition. Dreams and goals keep me going, keep me fighting the opposing forces.
This year has given me just what I need. The vast knowledge and the burning pride that keeps the flame of my soul ever kindled. I am not only a 'yehudi', not only a 'dati', but a 'chabadnekit'! I am a frum, Lubavitch Jew, fighting to keep my spark lit, while lighting the wicks of other lacking souls. May G-d give me and all of us the continued strength to utilize the match that the Rebbe has handed us, to light one soul after another, never losing our own brightness.
(this is unedited as I must go pack.)
Eretz HaKodesh, I will miss you and I WILL BE BACK if I must ever leave. And Medinat Haaretz can go "l'kol haruchot". At the moment, even if just at THIS moment, I would rather be in a corrupt place like America, where the standards are low, than in Israel, where the standards are high and the corruption just as significantly present.
MASHIACH NOW!!! SO WE CAN ALL BE HERE IN PEACE AND WITH ONLY G-DLINESS ALREADY! NOW! NOW! NOW!
posted by yoniQua at 2:36 PM
6 Comments:
Ugh... I remember my last day in Israel. I cried like a baby.
oy im not in your sem, im not in israel, im not in your continent, im not in your hemishphere...im not even female but all these blogs about the end of sem make me so sad...makes we wanna take advantage of the time i have here with friends... people my age.. and the time and oppurtunity to study and learn new things... thank you for inspiring me.
someone tell me why i am so numbed... i have completely numbed myself to all sadness and pain. WHY?!
timorous - think and then tell me, why did u cry? did you cry for yourself? for the land? why did you cry?
cousin - keep your heart open to receive inspiration, while at the same time inspiring others,without losing your own enthusiasm for life...
Hey Yoniqua
- your writing is really great, especially your poetry
- you really have a gift...
Why don't you submit your favorite poetry pieces to www.chabad.org/women
- it's a women's website that also showcases creative writing.
love you dena - MWA!!!
thanks for the compliments and encouragement - i have the best mashpia in the world!!!
mmhf - ur right. it is home. it felt like home like nothing else ever will. i think ill get married and move back for a bit... u want to live there ever?
Yoniqua I miss you. This is a beautifull piece of writing. I couldnt bare it when the plane took of. How are you miss u!!!
shains
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